Quick Answer: You're likely asking for one type of love while receiving another—and neither of you realizes it. The English language uses one word ("love") for multiple distinct meanings that Hebrew and Greek express with different words. Understanding these differences reveals why you feel unseen in your marriage, overwhelmed in motherhood, and spiritually dry—and shows you how to bridge the gap with grace instead of guilt.

When Love Feels Like a Burden You Can't Carry

You're doing everything right.

You're showing up for your husband, pouring into your children, managing the homeschool chaos, keeping the house running, maybe even building a business on the side. You're reading your Bible when you can squeeze it in between math lessons and laundry rotations.

And yet.

Something feels… off.

Not broken, exactly. Just heavy. Like you're carrying a weight you can't quite name, in relationships that should feel lighter than this.

Here's what I've learned after twenty years of walking with Jesus and sitting with hundreds of women just like you: the problem isn't that you're not loving enough. The problem is that nobody ever taught you what love actually means.

And I don't mean the Instagram-quote, coffee-mug version of love.

I mean the ancient, Hebrew-rooted, Greek-nuanced, actually-changes-everything kind of understanding that our modern language has completely flattened.

The Question That Changes Everything

Let me ask you something, and I want you to sit with it for a moment:

What do you expect from yourself? From your husband? From your children? From God?

Not what you should expect. Not what your mother expected or what that influencer says you should want.

What do you actually expect?

And here's the harder question: Do the people closest to you even know what you're expecting of them?

Because here's what I've discovered—and what I watched unfold in real-time during our three-day Origins of Love intensive—most of us are asking for agape when the other person can only give phileo right now. We're expecting ahav (that deep, protecting, emotionally-bonded love) when what we're receiving is chesed (covenant faithfulness without the warm fuzzies).

And we're dying inside because we think something's wrong with us. Or with them. Or with the relationship itself.

But what if nothing's actually broken?

What if you just need a different lens?

The Lens You Didn't Know You Were Looking Through

Every single one of us looks at love through our own lens—shaped by our design, our gifts, our love language, our personality, our past experiences. And we assume (without even realizing it) that everyone else sees through the same lens.

Your husband shows love by providing and protecting. You feel love through words of affirmation and quality time. You're both loving each other. But neither of you feels loved.

Your child needs physical affection. You express love through acts of service. You're making their favorite meals and keeping their clothes clean and managing their entire lives. They're wondering why you never just sit and hold them.

You're expecting God to show up in a burning bush. He's meeting you in the quiet, ordinary Tuesday morning while you're folding laundry.

Same love. Different languages. Completely different experiences.

And the English language—bless it—uses the same word for all of it. "I love my husband. I love my kids. I love tacos. I love Jesus."

One word. A thousand different meanings.

No wonder we're exhausted.

What the Original Languages Reveal

This is where it gets beautiful. And deep. And honestly, a little bit life-altering.

When you go back to the Hebrew and Greek—the original languages of Scripture—you discover that there are multiple words for love, each with its own distinct meaning, its own word pictures, its own emotional weight.

Ahav (Hebrew): That fierce, protecting love rooted in emotional bonds. The love Abraham had for Isaac. The love Isaac had for Rebecca. It's the love that makes you want to shield someone from harm, that rises up from deep personal ties. And here's what made me weep when I discovered it: the very first letter of this word means strength. Love, at its root, is based in strength—not fear, not obligation, not performance.

Chesed (Hebrew): Covenant love. Faithful, steadfast, undeserved loving-kindness that isn't dependent on feelings or emotional bonds. It's a choice. A decision to love because of commitment, not because of chemistry. And the word pictures? A tent with walls to protect, a thorn to guard, a door—an entrance you choose to walk through.

Agape (Greek): That unconditional, deliberate love that comes chiefly from the heart. The love that gives without expecting return. The love God has for us.

Phileo (Greek): Brotherly love. Affection. Friendship. It's real, it's good, it's valuable—but it's not the same depth as agape.

And here's where this gets practical, where it meets you in your actual Tuesday afternoon:

When Jesus asked Peter, "Do you agape me?" Peter responded, "I phileo you."

Jesus didn't shame him. Didn't guilt him. Didn't condemn him or hold it over his head.

He met Peter where he was. 

The Permission You've Been Waiting For

What if you could do the same?

What if you could look at your husband and understand, "I see that he's showing me chesed right now—faithful, covenant love—even though I'm craving ahav. And that's okay. That's still love. That still matters."

What if you could look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I'm giving everything I can right now. And even though it doesn't look like what I thought it would, it's still good. It's still enough. I'm still enough."

What if you could look at your expectations—the ones you didn't even know you were carrying—and say, "Oh. That's what I've been asking for. And that's what they've been able to give. And maybe we just need to communicate better. Maybe we just need to understand each other's lens."

This is what Origins of Love does.

It doesn't give you a formula. It doesn't pressure you to perform better or love harder or try more.

It gives you awareness. Understanding. Clarity.

It helps you see what you're actually expecting, what you're actually perceiving, and what the people around you are actually capable of giving right now.

And then—and this is the part that changes everything—it shows you how to bridge that gap with grace.

What Happens When You Understand

I watched it happen in real-time during our three days together.

Women who had been carrying guilt for years—guilt over not being "enough" for their husbands, their children, themselves, God—suddenly exhaled.

Women who had been frustrated with their marriages discovered that their husbands were loving them, just in a different language.

Women who had been white-knuckling their way through motherhood realized they could honor both themselves and their children's needs without sacrificing one for the other.

Women who had been spiritually exhausted discovered that God wasn't disappointed in them—He was meeting them exactly where they were, just like Jesus met Peter.

The relationships didn't magically become perfect. But they became clearer. Lighter. More honest. More grace-filled.

And that's what you're craving, isn't it?

Not perfection. Not pressure.

Just… peace. Clarity. The ability to breathe again in your own life.

An Invitation (Not a Pressure)

Origins of Love is a three-day intensive that walks you through:

• Day One: The expectations and perceptions you're carrying (and the ones being carried about you)—with a guided exercise that brings stunning clarity to what's actually happening in your closest relationships

• Day Two: The meanings of love in Hebrew and Greek—word studies that will completely transform how you read Scripture and understand what's being asked of you (and what you're asking of others)

• Day Three: Bringing it all together—how to honor yourself, meet others where they are, and create relationships rooted in strength, not fear

It's not a sit-and-soak class. You'll be engaged. You'll be writing. You'll be thinking. You'll be doing the work that actually creates change.

And you'll walk away with a framework you can use for the rest of your life—in your marriage, your motherhood, your friendships, and most importantly, your walk with God.

This is the work that gets you the relationships you actually want.

Not someday. Not when you're "better" or "more consistent" or "more spiritual."

Now. Right where you are.

Because you're already enough. You just need to see it clearly.

Ready to Understand What's Really Happening in Your Relationships?

Origins of Love is available now in the Equipped to Conquer Vault, along with every other course and masterclass currently available.

Explore the Vault and all course options here →

Or if you're ready to go deeper with personalized support:

Schedule a one-on-one mentoring session →

Learn about the Grace and Growth Mastermind (limited to 12 women) →

You don't have to carry this weight alone. And you don't have to figure it all out by yourself.

Let's walk through this together—with Scripture, with wisdom, with grace, and with the kind of understanding that actually changes things.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is Origins of Love only for married women?

No. While marriage is one of the relationships we explore, this course is for any woman who wants deeper understanding of love in all her relationships—with herself, her children, her friends, and especially with God. Single women, divorced women, widowed women—all have found profound value in understanding expectations, perceptions, and the biblical meanings of love.

Do I need to know Hebrew or Greek to benefit from this course?

Absolutely not. I break down the original languages in a way that's accessible and practical. You don't need any prior knowledge—just a willingness to see Scripture with fresh eyes. I actually show you how much Hebrew and Greek you already know without realizing it!

How is this different from a love languages course?

Love languages are one lens—and a valuable one. Origins of Love goes deeper by examining the biblical foundations of love itself, your expectations and perceptions, and how to create awareness that transforms relationships. Think of love languages as one tool; this course gives you the entire framework.

What if my husband won't take this course with me?

That's okay. This course is about your awareness and understanding first. When you shift how you see and understand love, your relationships naturally shift—even if the other person never takes the course. 

I'm spiritually exhausted. Is this going to add more pressure?

No. This course is designed to relieve pressure, not add to it. The entire heart of Origins of Love is giving yourself permission to be where you are, understanding what you actually need, and meeting others (and yourself) with grace. If you're exhausted, this is exactly what you need.

Can I do this course at my own pace?

Yes. While it was originally taught live over three days, the recorded version allows you to go through it whenever works for your schedule. Each day is about an hour, and you can pause, rewatch, and take notes at your own pace.

What materials do I need?

Just a notebook and pen. On Day One, you'll create a grid to map your expectations and perceptions. On Day Two, there are downloadable notes with color-coded examples. Everything else is provided within the course.

Key Takeaways

• The problem isn't that you're not loving enough—it's that nobody taught you what love actually means in its original biblical languages
• Hebrew has 2 primary words for love; Greek has 4—each with distinct meanings that English flattens into one word
• Your expectations and perceptions create your experience of love in every relationship
• Jesus met Peter where he was when Peter couldn't give the depth of love Jesus asked for—and you can do the same
• Awareness changes everything—understanding what you need and what others can give creates grace-filled relationships